2020 Lockdown Christmas
Original source: satipanya.org.uk
Written during the COVID-19 pandemic, this essay offers compassionate guidance for handling the uncertainty and stress of disrupted holiday plans. Noirin Sheahan draws on Buddhist understanding of anattā (not-self) to explain why uncertainty feels so threatening - our constructed sense of self doesn't know how to respond when we can't categorize experiences as pleasant or unpleasant. She explores how the same confusion we encounter with neutral feelings in meditation mirrors our struggle with unpredictable circumstances.
The essay introduces a practical mantra for difficult times: "try not to make things worse than they already are." This approach emphasizes realistic expectations over spiritual perfectionism, acknowledging that we'll likely experience irritation, frustration, and other challenging emotions. Rather than adding guilt about our reactions, the teaching encourages self-care through honest preparation for difficulties.
The piece demonstrates how Buddhist wisdom applies to everyday challenges, showing how mindful action - even without solutions to our problems - can lift spirits and build resilience. It concludes with the possibility of transforming the initial survival mantra into "let's make the best of things," illustrating how acceptance can create space for unexpected joy.
2020 Christmas Mantra “Try not to make things worse!”
How can we prepare for Christmas this year? We might not know till a week
beforehand whether we will be able to meet friends and family. Should I book a flight
home? Will there be twelve people for dinner, or will it just me and the dog? Would it
be irresponsible to visit my gran? How will she feel if I don’t? And don’t even start
thinking about New Year and Brexit!
Uncertainty is hard to bear. We sometimes see this in meditation when we
explore neutral feeling. Because we can’t decide whether the sensations are pleasant
or unpleasant, we also can't decide which of our habitual reactions to choose: Should
I be grasping at this, trying to hold on tight? Should I be pushing it away? The 'self'
we construct in our attempts to navigate the world is in a dither! It can feel very
threatened. Sitting with the fear, we learn the difficult but liberating truth of anatta
'not-self'. That we can stop constructing a belief 'this is me'; and when we stop this
construction process, we stop grasping at pleasant feelings, struggling against
unpleasant ones, getting into a dither about neutral ones. Such relief!
Then we get up from the cushion, remember Christmas, Covid, Brexit, and another
self gets constructed in a flash, asking the same old questions, demanding answers!
Until we're fully liberated uncertainty will be hard to bear. It brings out our habitual
demons like irritation, depression, even total panic. These are made ten times worse
because the expectation is for happiness at Christmas. On top of all that our lofty
spiritual ideals might add in hefty doses of guilt and shame for every transgression.
Because of living such a quiet life here at Satipanya, I’ll be spared this turmoil. But if
I was out in the world, I would start practicing my favorite mantra for hard times:
"try not to make things worse than they already are!"
I’d take time to sit down and envisage what the 'festive' season will really feel like -
probably more stressful than joyful; that I'll have to expect to be irritated, frustrated,
exhausted much of the time; that I'll probably see myself shooting second and third
arrows – grumbling & blaming and mulling over how unfair it all is. The motivation
here is not to depress myself. It’s self-care. If I’m expecting my demons, I’ll be in the
best place to look after myself wisely when they arrive.
I’ve heard the spiritual life described as one of ever decreasing expectations!
Delusion easily persuades us that we can be good-humored and serene in all
circumstances. But this makes any fall from grace extra painful. With practice we
learn to embrace our shortcomings. The mantra “try not to make things worse”
provides a reasonable goal – not too lofty, but very practical.
When the demons appear I would recite my mantra, summon all my willpower to
resist their temptation, find something purposeful to do, do it mindfully. Even when
we have no practical answers to all our pressing questions, its amazing how a few
moments of mindful action can lift the spirits, make us feel more hopeful,
stronger. With that I would change the mantra to “let’s make the best of things”.
Wishing for the best, preparing for the worst, it’s entirely possible that we might have
a happy Christmas after all!